I must be really, really loved

Sometimes, I wonder if I could just hit the road and leave everything behind when it troubles me.  I wanna say 'quit' and 'goodbye' to all the difficulties and pressure, but hey, I still know how to work on my issues.

A few months ago I have decided to take December off for myself.  My birthday is coming up and I don't want to miss out the opportunity to relax a bit and forget about work.  Just a couple of weeks ago, I have been into a lot of stresses.  Starting from the family related ones, to friends, to work related (sideline and fulltime) ones and even my own health.  (I didn't even mention the matters of the heart)  How must one survive this kind of stresses, I wonder…  As I pray every morning and every night before I sleep, I wonder, where is this all leading to?

I remember my soul sis' words of wisdom: "Alalahanin mo, you are blessed.. and with those blessings, you must learn to thank Him."  Yeah, she's right.  I always thank Him for everything.  Even the things that are happening to me right now are worth many thanks to Him.  There will always be two sides to a story, and I will always choose to believe in the good one.  Everything will come to an end, I know.  And after all this pain, tomorrow will be brighter.  I pray it will be.

Just this morning, I woke up with a back pain.  I couldn't move.

I am just so used to living my life alone that I never depend on anybody else but myself.  I want everything to be okay for everyone and that everyone else must stay happy despite anything.  I do not intend to please them, but I only work on what best I can give to make these turn into reality.  I said to myself, I really am alone in this house, but hey, I still have people around me who loves me.  I grabbed my phone and SMS'd my honey.  I must admit, I was surprised he gave me a call soon after I sent out the message.  Til this time, I must not have said to him I found it sweet.  He makes me happy even without offering me anything but by just being there, I am appeased.

This afternoon, and to this time that I am writing this post, I am bothered with thoughts about my work, deadlines and managing people who are very unstable as of the moment.  I feel stressed, and worried about things.  I always tell him my thoughts… anything and just about everything I want to say.  It is why I feel comfortable letting him know when I'm stressed or not.  He never offers me anything at all, he would just sit beside me and hug me.

At the end of the day, with all the worries and stress, I can still say, I must be really really loved.