I literally walked up to pain's front door.  Knocked at it and waited till it welcomed me inside. I had a nice chat with it and then I went out.  Promised to come back again when I forget.

I know I must be stupid.  But I am only human.  To be able to understand what it is to be more than human, you must first become human.  You need to understand what pain is all about.  Just like death is not the end, so is pain.  Its only a beginning.

A beginning.  Not "the" beginning.  The beginning of happiness is pain.  Enlightenment can only happen when there is darkness.

There is no good without bad.. and vice versa.

I have been trapped by past karma.  Not of this lifetime, but way farther in my past.  I beg to know them all so that I may understand my current lifetime.  I have found only bits of myself by looking at them and I understand why I have to go through what I have been dealing now for over 28 years of my life.

The fears, and the pains are all part of what I have failed to do so that I still must compete to complete.  And here I am, at the brink of another failure.  I cannot seem to close a karmic obligation simply because I am younger, and seemingly without authority.

Still, every twist and turn of my life, I see a pattern and a guiding hand.  God, let me hold on to you so that I may reach my goal and become who I must be.  Slowly, I am awakening.  I begin to see that this world is of no use to man without actually knowing who he really is.

Some might take this the wrong way, but the truth will always set you free.  Find the truth and there's nothing else you will need.  I am thankful to JP.  You are always part of me.  You have always protected me.  Its high time, I learn how to protect myself.  Thank you for saving me one last time.  Rest assured, I will not commit the same mistake again.

If ever I do, I'll come knocking at pain's door again so that I may see happiness afterwards.  But for now, I am thankful for having been delivered from precise danger.  Thank you God for saving me over and over again.