Its his 40th day today. I don't quite feel him anymore. Makes me feel even more lonely. Just like it was only yesterday when he left me. :( :( :(

But even so, talking to an old friend who've supported me all along (from time to time), I am reminded of how I used to count my blessings (with JP included). Makes me smile even for just a while. Thanks Ian. You're one blessing for me.

Artist: Gilbert O'Sullivan Title: Alone Again (Naturally)

In a little while from now, If I'm not feeling any less sour I promised myself to treat myself And visit a nearby tower, And climbing to the top, Will throw myself off In an effort to make it clear to who Ever what it's like when your shattered Left standing in the lurch, at a church Where people 're saying, "My God that's tough, she stood him up! No point in us remaining. May as well go home." As I did on my own, Alone again, naturally

To think that only yesterday, I was cheerful, bright and gay, Looking forward to, but who wouldn't do, The role I was about to play But as if to knock me down, Reality came around And without so much as a mere touch, Cut me into little pieces Leaving me to doubt, All about God and His mercy For if He really does exist Why did He desert me In my hour of need? I truly am indeed, Alone again, naturally

It seems to me that There are more hearts Broken in the world That can't be mended Left unattended What do we do? What do we do?

(instrumental break)

Now looking back over the years, And what ever else that appears I remember I cried when my father died Never wishing to have cried the tears And at sixty-five years old, My mother, God rest her soul, Couldn't understand, why the only man She had ever loved had been taken Leaving her to start with a heart So badly broken Despite encouragement from me No words were ever spoken And when she passed away I cried and cried all day Alone again, naturally Alone again, naturally